Well, I’m yawning. Missing him. I’m all alone, but tomorrow we’re going to meet again. I love him a lot!
And today is the first day of this year. Seems like a long time since 2011, but it’s actually only 24 hours ago. Wow, that’s a long time ago.
Good bajelly, I am so tired. Need to brush teeth, go to sleep. But we’re talking and I miss him so I want to talk to him right now. It’s three minutes ‘til midnight and I am all alone.
Sorry, can’t do this right now, too tired and unfocused. Goodnight J, hope you sleep well!
I’m here again. Just sitting in a corner with a computer on my lap, listening to some dull blue song. Don’t know what I feel.
My cousin got a dog. Just like that. But did she deserve it? Did she deserve that iPhone? Is she really worth that Nikon camera?
Not at all. I need to throw things out and forget.
I guess I’m doing good. Nothing’s bad, really, I’m just stressed, or something. Gosh. Didn’t I wish for this all? It’s tearing me apart somehow.
Well, I didn’t think about what to say or do here. I come here when I need o brainstorm, clear my mind a little. I have contacts now.
Did you know I almost told someone about this, this whole thing? What was I thinking?
No, only my little bro is to read this, if he wants to. He’s the only one I actually trust in this world. I love him. I hope he knows that.
So everything in life is great. My life is the best. At the moment, all the bad things I can think of are these:
- My pelvis is a little sore and I’m tired.
- There’s some schoolwork that needs to be done.
- My boyfriend isn’t here.
Really, that’s it. And yeah - he’s mine now!
Don’t know how I feel, just miss someone special.
Don’t know who I’m missing, just feeling it.
Don’t know what I’m doing, just chilling.
Don’t know what I’m thinking, just doing it.
(how did that turn into lyrics?)
I love my life. It’s finally going in the right direction.
I mean, it pretty much always has, but only in the long run. Things are going great, right now. I’m finally getting by!
School started one month ago today. You know what that means.
I’ve known them for less than a month, but I feel like it’s a part of me now.
I know someone who taught me that it’s okay to be honest and let people know how you truly feel and what you’re thinking about. This someone has proven to me that love actually does exist. I mean, really, I never believed in love. Until I met Someone.
Someone showed me how awesome life can be when you have love in it. Like srsleh, nobody has ever made me feel so appreciated and needed as this person has, like I actually matter to this world, it’s just ridiculous. I’m so comfortable around Someone that I can be awkward as I am without feeling like I want to lie down and disintegrate because I said something unacceptably weird. It’s always okay, Someone’s not hating on me. It’s just f*cking amazing.
My dear friend says such wonderful things to me all the time, and I can only try to be kind like that back.
sometimes we all just need a fluffy kitty.
mine just happened to come in human shape.
love, j
Some people are just so ridiculously naive and immature that I can even try to stand them.
She is so very shallow and false. She who wraps real people around her fingers just to watch them break. I suppose it amuses her, because she’s a cruel and hateful person. I spend time with her beacuse she’s supposed to be my friend. But she failed her job a long time ago.
And then there’s people who are hurtful without them meaning to be. Like when you meet someone and you fall for them and you even think about letting them meet your family and then they break you down so completely. Because of obvious reason. Obvious, but still so very childish reasons.
Jealousy. Of course it’s jealousy. What else could ever ruin friendship?
I try to keep a straight face, and I make an effort to try stand tall even when I only want to crawl down a whole and give up.
I can’t compete with them. They’re gorgeous people, and I’m just me. I can’t talk to new people, I’m too awkward. Well, I pretty much can’t talk at all right now, I’m too husky. Tried to shut up, but I need to talk. Talking is all I have.
[This part is removed. It’s not valid anymore. There used to be another text here, but things changed. Something about them rings. 18/09 2011]
Remembering Sunday - All Time Low
at least the beginning. and then the poison - all american rejects.
i love you.
It’s funny how ridiculously awkward a teenage girl can be. I’m not refering to some other person this time, this is all about myself.
Remembering that day when future was about to be chosen and the strangers face looked like such a Murphy.
Remember the news so many days, months after that.
Remember the new faces from the other side.
Remember the picture in the book.
Re-remembering strangers face.
And even though I know it’s so very silly, and that only a teenage girl can be this way, it’s the best feeling ever. There really isn’t a lot that beats the butterflies in my gut.
Oh, gotta go. The stranger’s on the chat!!
happy day, excitement strikes!
